This tactic can essentially be summed up in the saying “you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours”. It is welded into human nature that whenever someone does us a favour, we are then indebted to that person until we return a similar favour back to them. Not repaying ones debts tends to be something that most people will avoid because it is not seen as a positive value in a person.
Think about the last time that someone did you a favour. How did you feel afterwards? Have you repaid that favour or is it still "owing”? How does that make you feel?
Don’t underestimate this rule – it is very powerful and used to great effect by salespeople. An example of this is when a salesperson takes a prospect out for a “free” lunch. The prospect then feels a certain indebtedness to that salesperson, which can contribute to increasing the chances of turning that prospect into a customer.
A perfect example of how a diamond dealer may use this rule against you is to give you a “free, no-obligation consultation”. This will most likely comprise sitting down with you for an hour or so and explaining all of the intricacies of diamonds to you. You will probably be offered a glass of wine or champagne, or tea and biscuits. You haven’t paid for any of this, and he or she has just given you an hour of their time. Will you let the rule of reciprocity be used against you in this situation?
The best way to combat this rule being used against you is by changing your perception of the action. Rather than viewing any thing done for you by the jeweller as a favour, simply view it as a technique to enable you to more easily comply with what he/she wants. This change in perception then negates the feeling of indebtedness that you will feel if you view the action as a favour.
Recognising Persuasion & Influence Tactics Being Used Against You
While the game of negotiation is played out, the diamond merchant will be doing everything in his/her power to influence you to
a) Purchase from him/her and
b) Purchase the diamond at the price that he/she wants.
It is important that you are aware of the most common tactics that will be used against you.
Dr. Robert Cialdini wrote an excellent book called “Influence – Science and Practice”. In it, he explains the 6 major tactics that "influencers”, e.g. salespeople use to powerfully influence the rest of us.
These 6 tactics are:
a) Reciprocity
b) Consistency & Commitment
c) Social Proof
d) Liking
e) Authority
f) Scarcity
Another technique that Cialdini also describes in detail is the Perceptual Contrast technique.
I actually read this book after I purchased Lou’s ring but looking back, I can now see how these tactics were employed by the diamond dealer who supplied the ring.
